This past weekend I spent roughly 36 hours walking, driving, and talking around my hometown of Texarkana. I have been wanting to come back and be involved with Texarkana for sometime as far as ministry goes. If you've read my other blog, The 96 Theses, you'll probably thank, "Whoa, Jay. Missouri. You thought that was God's will for your life. What gives?" Even Cassville was seen as a place to serve and grow until the time came for Texarkana. All roads have been pointing there, and I've known that. It's the getting there part that's been the hardest. Ask the people closest to me, I never shut up about the place.
But, until this weekend, it had been forever since I had spent any time there. Actually, it had been two and a half years. That's a long time for things to swing and things change. That's a long time to not be around a city I claim to love. I honestly just wasn't sure if there was anything for me; if Texarkana was just a dream. But I finally gave in and decided to pack a bag and decide what was there.
This wasn't just a hang out weekend; I had a theory. I have a heart for those who have left the church, the people who have been scared by well meaning people going too far. The people who have serious questions about Christianity and don't feel welcome and at all to express some sense of doubt. I love these people; mainly because they're honest. They are the type of people who will tell you what they think, who see past all the ornateness of what Christianity has become and want to ask the typical Christian in the pew, "So what?". I love them beacuse, if I'm honest, I am one of them at the end of the day. My theory was that these people, the dechurched, make up a huge section of Texarkana; and that they sit unreached.
I know this because I counted churches. The worst known part of town is called Beverly Park. I know it's bad. I watched drug busts as a kid working at a BBQ place just outside of it. I heard people yelling and beating on each other for 2 years. That's why I was thankful for headphones. In just that area there are three Baptist churches, one a Reformed Baptist church. Nothing's changed in that community; these churches have become seplechures of hope; advertising a great God but offering nothing in the reality. Texarkana, a city with churches on every street; but how many are truly reaching their dead and dying city? Not enough.
I say that because too many of my friends have fallen through the cracks. Texarkana is a great city to grow up as a Christian, there are some great youth groups and plenty of things to do to have fun. But what happens after graduation is incredibly sad. Those youth kids go to college, or they never leave. They get married and pregnant, or pregnant and married, and there is no youth anymore. The churches that offered them so much no longer have anything to offer. So the 20 something single mom, feeling isolated by a church family who loved her before she got knocked up, but now wants nothing to do with her. My generation of church goers has fallen through the cracks of a church system that is built on a foundation of no discipleship. So when the church bailed on them, we shouldn't be too surprised when they bail on God, pack up the pew and say, "I'm out!". I know this, because try as I might to break into a traditional church structure, I was always "too loud" "too young", and "too zealous" for me to be effective. Like, I never knew what it looked like for one individuals to walk with me intensely until I was already in my 20's. I survived two broken engagements, financial struggles, feelings of abandonment, because of good brothers and sisters who would walk with me, and sometimes carry me. I should be dechurched, but I was kept by a good God, who had plans for something else. Because of this Divine Plan; I felt a calling to go back home and form my own plan.
My plan was this: To go where people meet, and even some places where most pastors wouldn't go, and just ask people to be honest with me. To just level with me and talk to me and tell me their proublems with Christians. To let me just have it; to just let me know what they really felt or thought. These were some of the questions I asked:
1. Did you have any religious background growing up?
a. If yes, what affiliation?
2. Do you consider yourself a Christian?
3. Do you consider yourself active, inactive, or dechurched?
4. What is the Gospel?
5. What does a good Christian look like?
6. What would you think of a group of people who established a welcoming community of Christians who loved each other and their community?
Six questions. To anyone that would answer them. That's all it was. No Bible in hand, no tracks, no cheesy questions. Just six dangerous questions. I didn't even get names. I didn't want them, I didn't need them. I just wanted to be a vapor this time and really just test my theory in Texarkana.
Not everyone was comfortable; obviously. There were a lot of people who didn't like feeling exposed. And there are way too many stories to tell. But here's just a few snippets.
I met a pastor who has a passion to his church become a multiplication center for church plants that want to focus on the dechurched in Texarkana. Josh is the pastor as of my home church and once we got on the subject, I felt like we were saying the same thing. It's tough to pastor Richmond Road. It's a liberal BMA church (by that I mean, they make the people in Conway look like people in Mississippi, and the people in Mississippi look like, well like more KJV toting Mississippians. Trust me, the doctrine's just fine.) They love their community, but they are still seen as typical Baptists. And they shouldn't change. God is blessing them where they are. Just in conversation, they have or are getting a clear view of their mission; to be a traditional, engaging Baptist church in the area they are in. Nothing wrong about that one bit. It's just not for everyone; and they accept that. Josh gets it as well, and still has a heart for those who won't come in. You don't change the ship that's sailing fine, you build another ship with it.
I met Christians who couldn't explain the Gospel. At all. When asked point blank, I got a lot of good answers: "That God loves us", "Christ came" "For God so loved the world...", you get the idea. These have parts of the Gospel; but they aren't the Gospel. No mention of the fact that we cannot save ourselves, that Christ died in our place, that He performed on our behalf, that we can find forgiveness by faith, through grace in Christ alone. None of that was ever mentioned. When asked, "What does a good Christian look like?", one person said, "You know, Republicany." Another said that they didn't curse, swear, or drink. One lady said she knew I was a Christian because I was so polite. Everything based on performance; no mention of grace.
Which brings me to Texas. I don't know her real name; just that she was wearing a Texas shirt. She was just a bit younger than me, and if she had something to drink that night I wasn't sure. But she was just as honest as the rest of my cross section. Except this time, something broke Texas. I asked her about her church background and she wouldn't stop. Texas "grew up Baptist" but was very much outside the church now. She struggles with feeling insecure, feeling unwanted, feeling filthy. She struggles because she professes Christ and yet sins constantly. She feels like a walking contradiction. Everyone has given up on Texas, and all she said was, "I just want to God to be happy with me." Texas is real. And I learned all of that because I walked up and spoke.
Texarkana, a city that many said "has too many churches as it is" needs something new. It needs pastors who are dedicated to the proclamation of the Gospel, for the joy of all peoples, for the glory of Christ, and the redemption of the city. It needs people who welcome the skeptic, the dechurched, the whore, the pot head, and Texas with open arms. A people who say, "Let's tell you about how Christ offers grace to you." Firm and loving, seeking to give the unreached people in Texarkana something they've never seen. Hope. A chance for the Gospel to shake them.
So, for the first time, I am seeking to plant a Reformed, community driven, Christ centered, church focused on getting the Gospel to the dechurched, making disciples, and redeeming Texarkana for the glory of Christ. This blog is the story of what that looks like. This blog is not about tangible success, it is about the Great Commission. I will never tell how qualified I am; because I'm not. I will boldly and unapologetically apologize for every failure. I am just a man. A man who sins just like the rest of us. For now, it's just me. A man with a passion to see Christ become Texarkana's Covenant Redeemer.
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